Opportunities

So for the last three weeks I have been sending emails to companies and employees asking them if they have any current opportunities available. I have spelled "opportunities" wrong just about every time. Luckily I have spell checker enabled on my emails... whew. Anyway that is definetly not what I logged on to say. I have to say that I feel that I have so many opportunities in front of me. Most of this has been due to my own hard work and dedication in creating these opportunities, but I can't stop thinking, man I wish that I had less options. Now I know this is a competely ridiculous thought. I realize that I love the fact that I have such a blessed life...that I would never turn my back and spurn God's wonderful gift to me. However at this present moment I have to answer the question, "what do you want to do?" so much that I feel like I should start putting a sign on my head with all the different options written in bold with subcategories below. It might look something like this,

Consulting
Management
Human Resources
Strategy

Retail
Sporting Goods
Outdoor Goods

Financial
Financial Planner
Investment Broker
Venture Capitalist (i know its hard and like impossible, but hey somebody does it)

Entrepreneur
"so whats your idea?" (this is where I proceed to tell them that I picture myself more in the management finance type role and I am looking for a partner that does not understand the phrase, outside the box, typically they laugh and say good luck)

So I think I will just print this out and email it to everyone I know and carry around a copy copies with me so that in the appropriate situation I can whip out the handy duct tape and attach it firmly to my forehead...

But on a serious note, those paths above are all the ones that I can see myself pursuing and being happy doing them. Of course that doesnt mean that I have job offers from any of those paths...(actually job offers are at a big fat zero right now). But those are all fields that I could see myself succeeding and being happy pursuing. However, the right path is not always as easy as it seems...It seems obvious to me sometimes that I should pursue this path: Consulting (two years) MBA, Management, Oversee Small Entrepreneur firm, Merger or IPO at 35-->retire (yea). Hold on I just woke back up for a strange dream where I sailed a yacht around the world from age 35 to 90, ahh I see I also just wrote it up... option 2 puruse financial planner at firm, work way up to bigger and bigger accounts, then complete rest of path outlined above. Option three, work at retail store, move up through corporate ladder...

I am rambling... I am honestly not usually as scatter brained as I think this blog makes me out to be. I think that I use this as a vent for extra thoughts that don't have the opportunity to get out any other way. But what I think I am trying to say is that I am excited and nervous about this next decision that I am going to be making soon about when and where I will be working. It is the waiting that kills me, I am somebody that needs to actively pursue a task in order to be satisfied knowing that it will be complete, but this job search is such a passive process. Send out resumes, do follow up emails, call people, arrange meetings, then when all that is done...sit back and wait...and wait. But thats OK I just need to focus on enjoying what little time I have left in school to enjoy it and cherish the time I have left with friends that have become my family for the last four years. Soon that family will be stretched across the world and I will truly miss them all.

It really only hit me the other day that my CC family will be scattered across the globe come this spring. I was left feeling very empty, we have all been there for each other for the last four years and in the course of a few months we will all scatter and will probably never come together as a group ever again. I hope that we can reconnect in some way, in some place, some time...but my cynical nature doubts that slightly. But anyway dinner is calling me and I have been typing for far too long about nothing especially important or vexing. Good night for now.

Stress

Really stressed right now. That is about all I can say. I just feel like this whole job thing comes crashing down on me once every week. I just have these awful moments where I see my whole life coming down to whether or not I can find a stupid job this next year and then I realize that I still don't have one and that is so upsetting right now. My friends are moving into deeper stages of interviews, getting offers, etc. and it has taken me three stinking weeks just to get three resumes submitted. Plus the entire time I realize that I missed the boat leaving from the pier and that I am currently attempting to jump on the ship as it slips away from the dock. AHHHHH I just really wish that something would present itself and I could just say "Yes." So far every oppurtunity has been so much more complicated than it originally seemed. Plus about the only good offer I have gotten is from a company that really does not line up with my skillset at all.

I know that I have so much more time to figure this all out and that the job is going to come, but sometimes it just overwhelms me and I write things like this...

The thing is I am not daunted by the interviews or the resume application or any of that. I know what I have to offer, I know what the firms are looking for, and I am really not that afraid of rejection. The painful stressful part is this in between stage, where you are whittling the field and constantly trying to give yourself the best possible chance of getting an interview at these companies. That stage is long, annoying, stressful, and just difficult. Anyway I am laboring far too long on all of this, I just need to take a few deep breaths and remind myself of everything I have going for me at this point in my life and that a job will most certainly come in some capacity or another.

I should be rejoicing in the last few months of college but instead I have spent the last few weeks spending almost all of my time emailing back and forth with contacts, job opps, and thesis ideas. I just pray now that I can find a job sooner rather than later. I know that it will come, I, as always, just want it to come Now. All right time to end this little rant so I can go take some deep breaths and enjoy life for a few minutes before sleep.

Thanks

So apparently people actually read some of the stuff that I have written. I never really thought that would happen. Now to date I have had only four confirmations that anybody has read my previous posts, but that is four more than I expected. The last two days have been absolutely filled to the brim with laughter, love, and friendship. I am so thankful that I have been able to enjoy the company of friends for th last few days, it has been a tremendous blessing. To escape from what some may call my "brooding mind" has been fantastic. Lately I have been so ridiculously happy with my life that it seems absurd to want to leave it. Leaving CC might well be one of the most monumentally sad things that I ever do. The friends I have made here and the memories we have all created together has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. My hope is that I am able to take those experiences and hold onto them that I can continue to grow and learn in the face of new challenges with old memories to reinforce my values and ideals.

I often question my own courage in the face of adversity. Will I be able to overcome hardship and even success without becoming jaded and cold? Will I always be able to soak up laughter like a sponge? But then I realize this the reason Kierin is in my life. She provides me those oppurtunities to soak up laughter, she reminds me why we laugh, why we love, and why we dream foolish dreams of fantastical natures. She is my constant reminder that foolish dreams when pursued with enough passion come to fruition in reality. She is my Joy and my light and my courage in the face of overwhelming doubt or pessimisim (sp.). Anyway I really never intended this to be a tribue to Kierin, so I think I will stop there so that she is not too embarassed if she ever actually meets any of the four people that apparently read my mostly incoherent ramblings.

For right now at this very moment I am entirely, wonderfully, and joyously content.

Trevor Lance Isham