A Life of Love

I have been doing a lot of staring out of train cars watching what have been some quite beautiful Chicago sunsets. My mind runs beyond its limits on most of these days and so it is time to attempt to summarize some of the disparate thoughts that have been swirling around. Again I love it when you comment or write back as it helps me in my thought process and often gives me new ideas and opinions to consider. I hope this finds you all with overflowing happiness as we close in on my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. We truly have so much to be thankful for and it is unfortunate we have only way day to celebrate our thankfulness (many other cultures dedicate whole weeks to celebrate their major achievements or ideas I think we should adopt these practices into American Culture, besides more time off). So without further ado here are the thoughts I have been having most recently in a somewhat loosely summarized manner.


My life philosophy has become quite simple. I have really trimmed it down to two main ideas; my own happiness and the happiness of those people around me. Christ understood this concept best, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” You see he understood a part of our fundamental nature that informs every part of our life. He understood that we are incapable of expressing to other people that which we don’t feel about ourselves; namely love. Satisfaction or confidence with ourselves is not enough, it falls short. We must be able to see ourselves as God does; immaculate beings created out of love, designed for love, God’s last and greatest creation. It is in this light that our capacity for love is unleashed and knows no bounds. I am not claiming that you can only love yourself through Christ, but I do believe we have to see ourselves as Christ does; His greatest creation, made in His own image, His precious. If we see ourselves as somebody’s precious, somebody’s greatest creation, made in somebody’s very image than it enables us to realize our worth and value; and thus love, protect, and cherish ourselves in a way that is infectious and quite literally overflows into the lives of those people around us. Thus, bringing us to the real reason why we love ourselves; in order to more effectively accomplish the primary mission of our lives…loving others.

I believe we were created, were given life, in order to become vessels for God’s love (or if you want, just insert love instead of God’s love if that suits you better.) Regardless the value we offer the world is the amount of happiness we can bring other people during and after the time we have on this planet. Our early years should be spent accepting challenges, cultivating empathy, and receiving love from those who watch over us (parents, siblings, relatives, friends, etc.). As we grow in maturity and experience so too does our compassion and empathy. Unfortunately, this is quite the dream scenario and in many instances challenges prove to be too tough, the love from others is not delivered in the abundance we require (if at all), and the love we need to feel for ourselves never manifests and thus empathy is stunted and rarely if ever surfaces. This makes self-awareness difficult, because it is all too easy to push off our problems on others failings or go the route of instant gratification through any number of long term self-destructive/selfish behaviors. However, courses can be reset, new memories formed, and in an instant of self-reflection we can redefine ourselves and our capacity for love.

We all harbor deficiencies, shame, and guilt over the lives we’ve led, the decisions we’ve made, and the times we have fallen short of our own or others expectations; but the difference we must recognize is that each passing moment we are reborn into a new world. Every step down life is at a crossroads and we can continue to reinforce our previous decisions, alter them slightly, or radically change course. We can recreate ourselves in a blink of an eye. The world at large may not be as quick to recognize this change, which is why we need to stay the new course as proof of our new persona. Of course without proper self-reflection this road seems to constantly move at breakneck pace and every direction seems fraught with peril and danger. This of course adds excitement, but also fear and further opportunities for indecision. But what is most important (and most difficult) is that we not allow ourselves to be controlled by the ashes of our past, but instead invigorated by the excitement of our new future.

But alas, our minds love what is comfortable; we seek security exactly twice as passionately as risk, we are twice afraid of losing as we are of gaining, and our brain is designed to take our previous experiences and analyze them to inform our future decisions. Therefore, lastly I would advocate for an out of body self awareness that can only be achieved through what I call peaceful argument (others might say spirited debate). This is a process by which a subject is engaged with his/her own experiences weighed and measured against both the experiences of the collective and another person who feels quite differently from you. Steel that has been forged in the fire by an experienced blacksmith comes out of the fire much stronger than when it went in. (In the process the metal takes quite a beating and often changes its shape, going in as a hunk of rock and coming out a polished and beautiful instrument.) It is only when we listen with both ears, heart, and mind to the opinion of others that we actually hear what they are saying and contemplate those ideas and opinions on a level that gives honor to that person and their life. I have more to say on this, but this is a good enough starting point and hopefully I will follow up in the next couple of days with Part II of this part of my mind.